[ Tuesday, May 31, 2005 ]
cumbersome
Here i go again.I just want to quote a post from my friend pat. (hi pat!) Got it from her blog. It was a nice post actually 'coz she further explained this indescribable and undefinable feeling im coping with everyday of this one heck of a thing called LIFE.."there are things in our lives that bother us, no matter how hard we try to be unaffected. when we have so far succeeded in building a fortress to guard our vulnerable souls. there are times when we think we have achieved the person we have always wanted to become, only to find out no one's perfect. it's hard to live your life, when there are masses loving and caring for you, yet deep down, you feel an unexplainable emptiness. a void that can never be filled, but can be soothed only by crying. so you try to be with people more often, you take all your time listening to them, observing them, mingling with them. and for awhile, the pain and the undefinable emptiness subsides. you begin to frown on the long nights spent in silence, because you know these are the moments when the vacuity grows and swallows you whole.yes, there are times these things happen. you start to stop thinking. the more you think, the more you feel the emptiness. the more it grows into pain. people see you as someone they can lean on and be with when they sense the call of weakness...but you ask yourself, whom do you turn to when the same sentiment rushes onto you? yes, there are times these things happen.and no matter what effort you put up to support the fortress around you, one thing will always be capable of crumbling it down. leaving you no choice but to deal with the feeling of helplessness and vulnerability. ironic, when people tell you its the only thing capable of making you strong. perhaps for some, but not for all...not for me...at least..for now...at least..."
that's it. Up to now i'm still figuring out the ways on how to deal with this certain uncertainty. Life is so ironic. It is simple and yet complicated. We try to look for satisfaction but in reality, contentment is nowhere. A state of mind maybe. Satisying the unsatisfied. Looking for that someone or something to make this life credibly incredible. Fixing loop holes. Finding the answers to the words: How? and Why?
Anyway, I wouldn't want to continue reacting ang expressing my thoughts 'coz this post would be eternal. At this point of my life, I'm just holding on to one word, FAITH. I know there will come a time when everything's gonna be alright. Just like the song. Yeah, just like the song...Labels: love
Posted by Che @
10:46 AM
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[ Monday, May 16, 2005 ]
todo na 'to!
so what's up?! yeah what's up with me lately.. i got 3 words for that:-- TIRED
-- DRAINED
-- SLEEPLESSIt's been a week of overnights to finish the redesign of WAP. And yes, just this morning we're already done with the migration. But. a big BUT.. of course bugs came out still. Anyway, that's normal. That happens all the time.We'll fix those before the end of the week. Hmm.. i got to have a good sleep when i get home.::Mas matagal pa ang stay ko dito sa opisina kesa sa bahay::
Nagugulat na nga mga kapatid ko pagnakikita ko sa bahay e. Parang homecoming ang dating! Na compute ko na work hours ko for the whole week including this weekend. Nagsimula akong mag overnyt nung Monday May 9. May 16 na pla ngyn! grabe.Monday na ulet! 118.5 hours akong nagtrabaho! grabe tlga.hindi ko na namamalayan ang oras. Umuwi lng ako sa bahay pra matulog ng sandali at maligo. Feeling ko nga dito na bahay ko e. It's past 4am Monday morning na pala. Di ko na din alam ang oras at araw. Uwi na ko mamyang 5am at hindi nko papasok mamya. Tom tues nlng. Grabe na ito. sana pagpalain ako ni Lord sa ginagawa ko. hehe.. Ito ang pangalawang project na gnwa ko na super tight ang deadline kaya buong gabi at araw ang trabaho. Ngayon mejo relax na ko. Nakakapag blog na ulet at hinihintay ang 5am pra makauwi na. Feeling ko isa na kong call center agent nito ah! Sobrang nkakatulog nko sa bus, fx at tricycle. Mabuti nlng at hindi ako lumalampas sa dapat kong babaan. Muka na nman akong bangag.hay.. Ayoko muna mag isip. Kahit ano ayoko muna magisip. Malulungkot lang ako pagnagkataon. (ayan umiral na nmn ang kachuvahan.)Outing. Nag outing nga pla ang kumpanya nung isang araw. Syempre hindi kami nkasama. Gusto ren nmn sana nmin sumama para makapag relax. kaso dhel sa wap na eto ay ayun wla. tsk tsk.. Anyway, mka2pagrelax din ako. Naalala ko nung umwi ako nung Sat night. Naligo agad ako. Ang sarap maligo! Dun ko lng na feel ang sarap ng ligo! hehe.. nilasap at ninamnam ko ng lubusan ang pagdampi ng tubig sa balat ko. hahaha.. Pero indi nga, ang sarap talaga. =) *Body clock check*Naguguluhan na ang sistema ng aking katawan. Parang walang araw at gabi na ang katawan ko a.. Yung 8 hours sa isang araw na dapat ay sa opisina nilalagak ay ang bilang na lng ng oras kong nilalaan sa paguwi, pagtulog, at pagligo sa bahay. Minsan nga wla pang 8 hours sa bahay at balik opisina na naman. D ko alam...Baket ko ba 'to gngwa? d ko alam.. basta ang alam ko.. Kung anong dapat kong gawin, ibigay ko na ang isang daang porsyento o mahigit pa ng aking makakkaya. Ayoko kasi magsisi sa huli. So ayun po. Uuwi na ko. Kung binasa nyo eto e salamat. Magandang umaga sa nyong lahat. babush! ;>Labels: rants, work
Posted by Che @
4:44 AM
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[ Sunday, May 08, 2005 ]
para sa aking inay
Happy Mother's Day ma! Salamat.. maraming maraming salamat sa lahat! mmwah!
Then and Now (left: ma & me -binyagan ko!, right: ma & apo luis -last feb)
You taught me everything
And everything you’ve given me
I always keep it inside
You're the driving force in my life, yeah
There isn’t anything Or anyone I can be
And it just wouldn’t feel right
If I didn’t have you by my side
You were there for me to love and care for me
When skies were grey
Whenever I was down
You were always there to comfort me
And no one else can be what you have been to me
You’ll always be you always will be the girl
In my life for all times
Mama, mama you know I love you
Oh you know I love you
Mama, mama you’re the queen of my heart
Your love is like Tears from the stars
Mama, I just want you to know
Lovin’ you is like food to my soul
You’re always down for me
Have always been around for me even when I was bad
You showed me right from my wrong.. Yes you did
And you took up for me
When everyone was downin’ me
You always did understand
You gave me strength to go on
There was so many times Looking back when I was so afraid
And then you come to me And say to me I can face anything
And no one else can do What you have done for me
You’ll always be
You will always be the girl in my life
Labels: lyrics
Posted by Che @
11:16 PM
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[ Tuesday, May 03, 2005 ]
only time
Who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows?
Only time...
And who can say if your love grows,
As your heart chose?
Only time...
Who can say why your heart sighs,
As your love flies?
Only time...
And who can say why your heart cries,
When your love dies?
Only time...
Who can say when the roads meet,
That love might be,
In your heart.
And who can say when the day sleeps,
The moon still keeps on moving
If the night keeps all your heart?
Night keeps all your heart...
Who can say if your love grows,
As your heart chose?
Only time...
And who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows?
Only time...
Who knows?
Only time...
Who knows? Only time...
Labels: lyrics
Posted by Che @
4:13 PM
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