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[ Monday, March 27, 2006 ]
why oh why
Things has changed.. really now. I don't know how it transcended. I don't know but my vulnerability to her transformed into numbness. Yes i'm numb. Numb about the fact that she's going back and study here. Numb about the fact that she suddenly chose me more than her current partner. Numb about the fact that she wants me back..
All i can say is.. im sorry, you're late.. It's too much of what transpired and I got fed up. I've given you a second chance. But that second chance just triggered me to really move on with my life. I have realized that the world really has more to offer. And i got a purpose to other people's lives. My purpose with your life is thru. I hope you learn a lot from it.
Does love still exists? I guess yes, but as a friend. No more no less.
P.S. Don't find happiness to people. Only you can bring the happiness you've been looking for.Labels: mushy
 Posted by Che @ 6:24 PM
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[ Monday, March 20, 2006 ]
rush of events
- Thurs.. New work at libis. haha... Got a new work for the nth time. (hmm.. I can say that the offer is good and the exposure is good. Why not try ?)- Fri.. Went to megamall to buy an olympus charger. Unfortunately they don't sell olympus accessories. Just watched V for Vendetta. Twas my first time to watch a movie alone. Twas great. really. =)- Sat & Sun.. Puerto Galera again! Even if im not part of my previous company anymore, kasama pa din ako sa outing nila. yipee! twas a great summer escapade. i actually enjoyed the swimming and the inuman sessions.. saw my HS classmate/friend with her partner. Had a doze of mindoro sling. a wapak feeling. Joined my ex-officemates for another inuman session. Forced to dance. Had a great time. Then another inuman session at the shore. Kwentuhan galore. Had a great time again and then slept. A blessing in disguise. Yep. My 1st inuman with my 2 friends was a blessing. A coincidence to see them there. I felt that it really has a reason. Thanks for the advises huh.. Hope we can go out some other time here in Manila.My other inuman sessions were a blessing too. Well, it added spice to my boring life. Haven't been drunk and dizzy for a long time.. haven't danced in a public place since college and haven't felt that kilig again. hahah.. (sbi ni pat para kong HS. pero hanggang dun lang yun. crush lng. ;) )-------------------Back to manila once again. Enough about the summer escapade.. back to reality. Had a chat with someone a while ago. Someone that used to be special. To you, i don't mean to hurt you with what i said. You know your life is complicated. And you're just adding to such complications by expecting anything from me. You really can't have the best of both worlds. I know you already explained things to me before. But what the heck?! We're would that lead us? nothing. You'll go back here just to visit. and then what? you'll go again and be back with your life there. I've had my share of miseries, sadness, longingness and hopelessness. And im tired of thinking of that someday with you. I decided. This is really the end of the road. Just as you decided to end our so-called relationship more than a year ago. ciaoLabels: chorva, travel
Posted by Che @ 8:42 PM
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[ Saturday, March 11, 2006 ]
These too shall pass
It's very difficult to understand..
- Why do people have to experience so much pain in loving someone when in fact all they did was love truthfully?
- Is love really synonymous to pain? (and vice versa)
- Why do old feelings come back even if you haven't seen the person for a long time already? .. a very good friend recently heard the breaking news of her x boyfriend that he would come back here in Manila with his gf to get married. Well, well, well.. I don't really know how to react. But the thought also pains me. Considering.. I too has this strange feeling still with my x. Oh yeah. Goodness! It's very ironic coz my friend thought that what she had with him was over and she has already moved on. (Just like me..tsktsk..) All i can say is that we can't do anything about it anymore. Certainly.. We can't blame that strange and unexpected feeling that starts to enter in to our hearts once again.. "the love for the one who used to love us" But we must know how to handle it. Memories will forever be memories. That's a given fact. It can't be erased in our hearts and minds. Let's just thank that it happened. It inspired us. It made us feel special and loved.. No more no less.
To my friend..
No more hopes. But prayers.. so that the pain will eventually be taken away and the feelings die. As they say, Everything is temporary. These too shall pass.. Labels: love, mushy
Posted by Che @ 11:13 PM
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[ Tuesday, March 07, 2006 ]
kinda feeling good
EVERYTHING IS TEMPORARY.. that's what my best bud told me yesterday. Yeah.. oo nga naman.. so why dwell on these kinds of sh*ts anyway. Fight che! Fight! Im starting to feel good already.. This song inspires me a lot. coz i know God knows why this and that has to happen. He isn't temporary like us. "Hesus" Kung nag-iisa at nalulumbay Dahil sa hirap mong tinataglay Kung kailangan mo nang karamay Tumawag ka at Siya'y naghihintay
Koro:
Siya ang iyong kailangan
Sandigan, kaibigan mo
Siya noon, bukas, ngayon
Sa dalangin mo'y tugon
Siya ay si Hesus sa habang panahon
Kung ang buhay mo ay walang sigla
Laging takot at laging alala
Tanging kay Hesus makaaasa
Kaligtasan lubos na ligaya
(balik sa koro 1 tapos bridge tapos koro 2)
Bridge:
Kaya't ang lagi mong pakatatandaan
Siya lang ang may pag-ibig na tunay
Pag-ibig na tunay
Koro 2:
Siya ang dapat tanggapin
At kilanlin Sa buhay mo
Siya ang araw mong lagi
Ang karamay kung sawi
Siya ay si Hesus,
Siya ay si Hesus
Siya ay si Hesus sa bawat sandali
Labels: lyrics, mushy
Posted by Che @ 8:36 AM
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[ Friday, March 03, 2006 ]
lost
These past few days.. I'm lost once again. It was as if i'm alone and little in this super big world. A bad case of sadness once again. Couldn't even be compared to bluer than blue and sadder than sad. It''s really worst than that. It's filing up until now.. I thought I'm already strong. I thought I can handle whatever circumstances I have to face. But I was wrong.. The emotional turmoil is starting to take charge. Does anyone know where I can take up a Masters degree in Change, Rejection and Love? (Or should I just say a Masters degree in Life?!)
Case 1: Change of office venueAdjustment once again. New people to work with, new project and all. Coping, coping and coping.. I'm kinda pressured because they're letting me read a cobol and a foxpro program which i don't even know what files to open and in what software do i have to open it. Waaaahh.. It isn't my especialty you know. Haven't used that before coz I'm into web development.. Geesh.. I don't know if i'm going to be challenged or what. There's this part of me that wants to complain and resign. I dunno now.. If only I have the money I won't work for any employer anymore! I just want to be a freelance developer, a business owner and an investor. I want to enjoy life and travel. (that's why i want to work abroad to save and start a business here)
Case 2: What do you call that word again? R e j e c t i o n ?I've been praying for a job opportunity at Singapore this year. I've been sending my resumes every now and then but still unfortunate for a respond. Still hopeful.. (Been saving money so I can go there)
Case 3: The feeling of missing someone so badly.. Never felt this bad once again since my last relationship. I do miss her once in a while but that's bearable. I dunno but right now I want to see and talk to her. We're just friends but I know deep in my heart it's more than that. (And I'm certainly scared with the feeling)
These are few of the things that are bothering me right now. I hope i can surpass this phase of my life.. with the help of my family and the Lord.. Labels: chorva
Posted by Che @ 12:18 PM
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